Ten (times three) Haiku On To Split Or Not To Split An Avoidable Showdown©

Tonight’s a big night

We are excited with our

Tickets for great play

We’re at the restaurant

We tell the server we want

To split, she breaks in says NO

Before we can say

Any more her face contorts 

Turns red hands on hips

She positively

Growls, spitting out NO again

Only one check, K

Calm down we reply

You are jumping conclusions

Please listen okay

The server stands up

Taller, lowers voice and says

I know what split means

Whispering to each

Other we chuckle and say

You probably don’t

Our policy here

Is just one check per table

Hands on hips again

We again tell the

Server that we need to split 

Again interrupts

Her lips tighten up

She starts to frown her eyes start

To tear voice breaking

You don’t understand

I’ve been on my feet all day

Running exhausted

You think it’s easy

It’s not it’s hard and now you

Want to split, oh ugh

Tears now on her cheeks

We say wait please just listen

She says I give up

Turning on her heal

She says as she moves away

Getting manager

Five minutes later

Manager walks up and says

No splitting checks here

We maintain our cool

And say we never asked for

Her to split the check

We said she never

Allowed us to finish our

Request couldn’t talk

We go on to say

She interrupted every

Time let us explain

The manager just

Stood still and nodded to us

Go ahead explain

Before we could speak

He said she is right we don’t

Split checks, policy

We sat there silent

For a second and said K

We want to explain

We are now going

To probably be late we

Need to hurry out

We have another

Place to go to from here and

We need to leave now

We probably used

Wrong term we don’t need the check

To be split, sorry

If you will allow

Us to restate our request 

We need to leave soon

Please bring us the check

So we can leave, depart, go 

Withdraw, take off, split

The manager stared

For a minute and trembled

You don’t need check split?

We replied no we

Really don't need the check split

Just the check quickly

His shoulders slumped down

He said no, I won’t bring check

I am embarrassed

We were wrong sorry

You have endured much tonight

Your dinner’s on us

Inspired by prompt from Scott Y of Chicago

Happy Birthday